3/7/12 Discuss to Concensus

I wholeheartedly agree that the counsel method is "the Genius of God's government". There is no compromise or sacrifice necessary in this way, for both come to a conclusion that fits the Lord's way. If we can devote ourselves to His will, if we can form our own desires around His, then we can achieve true happiness, for that IS his will. We must seek inspiration as we discuss and decide. Let your mutual love of Christ unify you. do not try to convince or manipulate. This method is a discover for truth and right path between you. To counsel and achieve consensus is to discuss, never debate. It is miraculous when we invite the spirit into such conversations. Yet, we have to be willing to listen and change with the presence of that spirit. Our tendency is to revert on what is familiar rather than what is inspired. Beware of this! We can overcome this by setting a routine to discuss and apply this wonderful method and keeping that schedule constant. Just as it is needed to read and study the scriptures and pray each day rather than only when there is something to discuss with the Lord, or a crisis to overcome. Before these discussions, it is important to express love and gratitude. I really love this idea. It is so dearly important that we let our partners know they are loved and appreciated often, especially if they are the type of person that needs that vocal affirmation to understand they are loved. this action sets a mood of acceptance of opinion, and love that will fight through disagreement. Differences can strengthen a couple, especially when those differences are accepted as part of the wonderful being you have committed yourself to. I also love the idea of having these possible difficult conversations over a meal. It adds that extra bond in sharing a meal together to better unify and comfort each party. I cannot express eloquently enough how much I adore this method of discussion and decision making. I always thought that compromise was the best way to come to decisions with a mostly positive outlook. I know now that synergy is far better, that it creates such a  beautiful relationship between husband and wife, and leads them on the path that makes them "one".

Work

Does it really matter that the family is being separated into different duties and no longer work together like they should? Of course! Work is a powerful tool to bring people closer. it unites them and becomes an equalizer between them. When you work together, you are performing some sort of service and service is our yellow brick road to Heavenly Father. We can see the end in sight when we work, and that puts things into proper perspective whether we are concious of it or not.
God's WORK and his glory are to bring to pass the happiness and eternal life of man.

Learning From The Masters

I am so grateful that I attended the child and family career fair this past Thursday. I learned so much. I got there late so I didn't really know what was going on and I sat down in a class and wondered where everyone was, for there were only a few people in the room. I figured everyone would gather in one room and see several representatives of the different related professions come and speak. Instead, those form the differing careers were stationed in different rooms and it was the students who rotated between them. I got to spend a few minutes listening to our Brother Williams as he talked about how we could make the most of our progression toward our degrees and eventual positions in our chosen field. I also got to spend a few more moments picking his brain after the fair. I am studying to be a marriage and family concealer, so I tried to soak up his advise like a sponge. I learned that it is so very important that we try and get every ounce of experience in the field as possible. Brother Williams advised that we get jobs, even volunteer, near the professions where we would want to work. It will be hard to get a job as a marriage and family therapist if we're working as a waitress at the diner across the street. He also said that it would be smart to find an area of expertise. We will get more clientele this way, and form strong friendships and alliances with other therapists and counselors as we refer those we could not help as effectively as another. Getting as much experience as possible would also be helpful.

Inspired Decisions

I was amazed by the wisdom I gained as we discussed the Apostolic discussion method. How inspiring. As we talked about it I got so excited for the day when I can use that way of coming to a decision with my husband, a way without compromise, where each party is pleased with the outcome, and a stronger bond is formed between you two because of it. I always thought that compromise would have to be a part of every disagreement. That someone would have to be giving up something for there to be peace and order in the home. I am so grateful that that does not always have to be the case. Yes, of course, not all decisions can be made without compromise, but I can barely believe that there is a way that is better than that. Yet, I guess there still is a sense of compromise and sacrifice in this method of decision-making. We are giving up and sacrificing our own will for the Lords. However, that is never truly a sacrifice in relation to the blessings and happiness and peace of mind we obtain if we do offer our own desires up to the Lord in exchange for doing what we would of us.

Marriage, families, and my complete lack of preparation.

These last few weeks have helped me to realize how unprepared I am to be a mother. It discourages me how ill prepared I feel to know what to teach and instruct my children. I know that most future parents feel this way, but it hurts to imagine my children suffering because I don't know what to do with them. I am not even dating anyone and this upsets me, that's a little crazy to me. I didn't grow up in a highly Mormon populated area, and so it wasn't ingrained in me to constantly think about marriage and families as i have seen it in those who live around many with our same beliefs. Yet, coming to this school where families are promoted more than i have ever experienced I find myself thinking about those things so much more often. It is amazing how a society effects you even when you do not realize it. This realization has also caused me to speculate on the kind of environment I want to raise my family in. It's a lot to think about.

Life is an intertwined net of knowledge.

It is absolutely insane how my classes are connecting with one another. It makes learning in each course so much more enjoyable. I will learn a principle in one class, then hours later I apply that principle. It's invigorating to learn this way. It excites me to come to class and keep building my knowledge and strengthen my life experience. This week especially has been insane in that all of my classes, every one, have correlated in some way. The concepts I have learned in Family Foundations I been able to apply in my group presentation on eternal marriage in Family Foundations. In my Capstone class we have been discovering our opinions on people with homosexual tendencies and how that affects us and other families. Principles I have found in that class have shed a different light on marriage and caused me to see what an incredible blessing it is to have tendencies that coincide with the Lord's plan. It has made marriage much more important and sacred to me. In my Psychology class we recently discussed reinforcement and punishment, and what they really mean. It has given me important knowledge on how to teach my future children, and also how to problem solve with my future husband. I have never enjoyed learning in my classes more than I have this semester, especially these last few weeks. It is just breathtaking to me how life connects sometimes.

Love the Sinner, Not the Sin!

I really enjoyed the discussion we had on Friday. I agree wholeheartedly. Members of the church, or people in general, struggling with same-sex attraction simply need to be loved and accepted. We should not accept those feelings and tendencies as right or something good, but we must accept the individual. They are a child of God and therefore, no matter what, they deserve to be treated as such. For so many, declaring one's sexual orientation to be heterosexual is a way to escape to a place where they can feel accepted or special. If we accept those who are different from our view of what is male and what is female than these individuals would not have the need to seek companionship from their own sex. I love the phrase Brother Williams repeated in class, "Being informed and loving people at the same time is the best way we can help them." or something to that effect. it is completely true. Trying to get those who find themselves attracted to the same sex to fight their feelings, telling them its wrong and evil to feel that way, and treating them as wicked transgressors is the same as pushing them into homosexual lifestyles as much as telling them those feelings are true and good. Love the sinner, not the sin is one of my favorite phrases in the church. Besides, these people who see themselves attracted to their same gender are not sinners at all. They are simply fighting their way through the temptations chosen for them in this life. It is only when they act on those tendencies and emotions that they sin. This subject is particularly sensitive for me because of the views of my father. Wonderful man that he is, he finds it hard to accept those who declare themselves gay or lesbian as children of God. In theory he might understand that yes, they are children of Heavenly Father, but he does not treat them as such. Growing up in San Francisco, with a father who treated all who found themselves homo-attracted as sinners whether they had acted on it or not, i think is the reason for his take on the matter. I also had a dear friend who was a perfect example of someone who did not fit the classic description for "male", yet he did not have any sort of tendencies toward other men. He was very, very "straight". Yet very few accepted him as a man, someone who be attractive to women. Because of this lack of acceptance, he soon found comfort in the idea of being attracted to the same sex, he found this to be more acceptable for the way he acted to his friends. Strong man that he is, he resisted the urge to act upon these feelings. He knew they were contrary to the Lord's plan. He has been such an inspiration for me.